It is not unusual for many people to have a strong desire to achieve something, but then live a life totally contrary to their desire.
It is like they are seeing what they want on the other side of gate and are working hard to find the key that will unlock it. Yet only a small part of the time do they truly believe they will actually find the key...
What we say both out loud and to ourselves ALL the time is vital. We just can't bring about what we want when we only have a strong belief 10% of the time...we must make sure ALL our language is in alignment with what we want.
Change is such a big thing. We find it happening more and more in our lives and in our businesses. And yet it isn't always easy to deal with. Whether we like it or not, those who aren't good at dealing with change will gradually be left behind.
People often think that they haven't the confidence to change, or won't change until they have the confidence to do so. What they don't realise is that it is the change that gives you confidence.
We may feel anxious about change...and avoid it by hiding our head in the sand. We can numb our emotions to change by becoming addicted with things that avoid the issue, like substances, gambling, buying things to make us happy, watching too much television...actually there are so many different sorts of avoidance measures. When we do this our lives shrink because our defences have built up a mechanism to avoid what we feel anxious about.
The way to counteract our negative feelings about change is to start by developing healthy thinking habits. Coaching can help with this. One of the things you can learn to do is to.stop criticising yourself as it does nothing except affect your energy and confidence. Rather than sizing ourselves up against others and wonder what they think of us... What we should think instead is...
"What you think of me is none of my business".
Do you notice how often we say things like...
Sometimes we can go over and over the negative thoughts, thinking that that will bring abut the positive solution. But his is a total waste of time...what you need to so it change your thinking to the positive.
So this week put your attention on what you DO want...focus on it with as much as your thought energy as possible and see what a difference it can start to make in your life.
Do you realise how much time you spend in any moment thinking about the past, (maybe what we should or shouldn't have done) or in the future (worrying or thinking about what may happen)...and how little we spend in the present moment.
We can eat our lunch on the go...giving the food we eat hardly any thought at all. Never really fully experiencing the fullness of the flavour.
We rush from person to person, our heads full of what we need to do next, that we never fully engage with them. Which is a shame, because it has been said that the deepest need of most people is simply to be heard.
So how do we better engage with others? Or get to really taste and enjoy the food we are eating? Or really enjoy life...
The answer is to become more aware of living in the present moment. We do, after all, only have a small window of opportunity to create our lives...and that moment is now. We cannot change the past, and we have limited ability to influence the future. The only time we can have any influence over is now...
Most of us have a life that looks great on paper. To the outside world we are successful and prosperous because we tick all the boxes. There is, however, a fundamental difference between success and happiness. Just because we may look successful, doesn't mean we are happy...
Brene Brown said in her TED talk about the Power of Vulnerability, that, "We live in a vulnerable world. And one of the ways we deal with it is we numb vulnerability." and it is as a result of that numbing of emotion that, "we are the most in-debt, obese, addicted and medicated adult cohort in US history"
And this isn't just the case in the United States...but in many other countries around the world.
In order to find kindness and compassion for others, we need to find it within ourselves by treating ourselves kindly. And yet our inner chatter is often harsher than we would talk to anyone else.
To strengthen your inner resilience to dealing with the vulnerable and ever changing world in which you live, it is a good idea to look at your own levels of happiness in each area of your life.
It's interesting how our brains think in patterns.
What happens is that when we stumble around trying to make sense of a problem or situation, our brain searches its data-banks of experiences to try to find a recognisable pattern it can latch onto. When it does, it will flow your thinking along it towards an outcome or conclusion.
But that can result in a problem...
When we are upon the tidal wave of thought along recognised patterns we bi-pass untested, new and interesting opportunities along the way. We don't see them because our brains haven't wanted us to take the stepping stones across the water towards them. So our resolutions to problems can become predicted and safe.
Now the solution you reach following a predicted thought pattern may be a great resolution to the situation...and yet it might not.
When I look back I recognise that years ago I allowed my thinking to follow predicted patterns...which led me to feelings of being stuck and not moving forward. If I knew then what I know now, I would have looked for tools and techniques to open up my thinking and allow it be more flexible and receptive to new ideas.
But we are where we are...and I'm wanting to share all the research and experience I have generated over the years around creative thinking/storytelling and lateral thinking, so that you can apply these techniques to your life and work to help you to keep moving forward and exploring ideas and opportunities without allowing them to pass you by.
When contemplating or making change in your life or business, don't let the past patterns of thinking and working hold you back from being open and receptive to new ways of doing, being and having. Remain curious about the way things work. Learn new tools and techniques for generating ideas and looking at situations in different ways.
Above all, don't be afraid to explore.
image by Tacluda
Getting yourself in the right place to start thinking creatively is easier for some than others.
There are many businesses that are crying out for someone who can put forth ideas and innovations, but then they sandwich a meeting or workshop to capture these ideas in-between logical meetings like sales forecasts and sales reviews. Hardly a great space for creative thinking! It is as though creative thinking can somehow happen as part of a business process.
The same goes in our personal creativity. We sometimes need a ritual to get us in the right head space. Just like a painter sets up for work mounting a canvas on an easel, preparing the brushes and choosing the paints, you want to set up your creative stage for best results.
Some people wait until the muse is upon them before they can start to come up with creative solutions. This is fine if it suits. But what if you need to find a creative solution here and now? What if the situation won't wait for the muse to find you?
What you need is the mind-set of being in the moment. The more you search for being in the moment, the quicker you will be able to get yourself in that place when you need to. You'll also find your ability to concentrate increases as will your ability to filter out extraneous sounds and other distractions.
image by AndrewBernard
Building personal resilience, or allowing your team members to grow their own resilience has never been more important.
Change is around us more than ever. We have come to understand and realise that organisations need to be flexible in order to survive and that flexibility often comes in the form of a restructure.
You know the thing...I'm sure we've all been through it more times than we care to mention. We've worked in a job and produced good results. That is backed up with a positive annual appraisal. Your sickness level is good. If you undertake peer feedback reviews, those are great. But when it comes down to a restructure, and the need to fight for the job you've been performing well in for a number of years, it often comes down to how you perform at interview.
On a personal level, the ability to be resilient is crucial. This resilience comes from being flexible, the ability to think creatively and confidence in your ability.
As a business owner or manager it is crucial that you ensure your team members build their resilience, confidence and creative thinking. Unfortunately I have seen too many businesses immerse themselves in the practical side of a restructure, and forget the well-being of their employees. For those that remain in the company their confidence can be shattered and they feel the need to conform rather than innovate.
Your business and your success all depends on the creative ability of your staff to innovate...
One of the key areas of creative thinking is problem solving.
My blog this week was going to be a video on another topic...but I had a problem with it. Actually I wasn't very happy with it. I didn't think I had quite got my message across as well as I'd hoped.
Putting the video to one side, I got to thinking that we all encounter problems sometimes and when we do what we need is a creative solution to hand.
There are many different techniques to use but here is one which James Webb Young published in his book A Technique to Producing Ideas. In it he describes five essential creative thinking steps you can use when in search of a solution.
When you do receive the fabulous solution you are looking for, you will forget the pain of overcoming it along the way.
Today we are all working within a complex and changing environment. The only thing that is predictable is unpredictability. It leads organisations to restructure on a regular basis; this has the impact of forcing us to continually face change when we are not ready for it. The result can be high levels of stress which are difficult to deal with.
So we try to take responsibility for our lives by studying more, working harder and collecting more qualifications. All in an attempt to help us to stand out from the herd. At one time these strategies worked. But they no longer serve us well or provide us with competitive advantage, because everyone else is dong the same.
So how do we take responsibility for our lives and stop ourselves from being blown about by the winds of change? Well, there are a few things we can do...
watch the replay later) http://app.webinarjam.net/register/21616/10056f6e10